Who do you choose to be?

One of the greatest things to come from my recent vacation to rock bottom was a new understanding of identity, boundaries and what these even mean.

To set the scene – I was lamenting with genuine fatigue and confusion to my kinesiologist my recent awareness – a pattern I was living out.

We were talking about the men of late (men sounds way too plural). Let’s say, a couple of guys I had attracted. Plain and simply I was referring to them as static. Men who either wanted to be fixed so to speak, or men who wanted nothing of the sort, and by that I mean men who were not responsible for their stuff. Or wanting to be.

Now to be clear – both of these types I refer to, there is nothing wrong with either. All genuine souls, just not what I was looking for. And not wanting to keep attracting.

Whether it was a date or a chance meeting, I was left unsatisfied and a little ungrounded from the experience.

Something was up. A session was needed.

Now you gotta remember, I spend a lot of time talking about manifesting. With clients, with myself, with mates. Getting clear on what we want to call in. What we want to attract. So you can imagine my frustration and fatigue when really, as far as I was concerned I was doing all the manifesting things right.

I was getting clear on the type of guy.

I was getting clear on the relationship.

The missing ingredient however was: 

Who do I choose to be in these experiences?

When I was asked this in session, I abruptly replied, ‘I don’t know’. And herein laid the break through.

Here’s the thing…

When I started this kinesiology journey, I learnt quickly (was it quickly?) to get clear on who I wanted to be as a practitioner. Boundaries. What my strengths were. How to relate to clients while still being myself.

My identity as a kinesiologist evolved. And it’s really been in this year alone that I’ve settled into this role. Stopped questioning who I am and how I am. In short I started to own who I was (in clinic).

What hadn’t received a lot of attention though, is who I was choosing to be in every other area of my life.

Before this session I wasn’t clear on the who I was choosing to be while I was in any other circumstance apart from in clinic. As a friend, daughter, partier, date. And so because of this I defaulted back to ‘I’m a kinesiologist’ identity. It was safe, it was familiar, there was strength in it.

But then it got exhausting.

It’s a simple question…

Who do you choose to be in this moment? In this situation? In this upcoming environment/ event/ scenario?

It’s a simple question, but it’s a big almighty one.

Sit with it. Ask yourself. Answer it. See how things start to change.

What is equals is boundaries and it makes for a totally new experience.

Let me know what you think.