Recalibrating

This year has been a year of introspection without a doubt. I’ve spent a lot of time on my own in a quiet contemplative soul searching way. I realised recently that I asked for this at the start of the year. I had started the year with the intention of being as clear a channel as possible so that I can allow source to work through me in my sessions. So that I can be of service to clients in the best possible way. And in order for this to happen, I had to go inwards. As a result it’s been a very interesting year to say the least. I haven’t talked as much as what I normally do, sharing every single thought that pops in to my head. I’ve learnt (I’m learning) to just listen to it instead.

I feel that as each day passes I hear my intuition, my inner truth speaking louder and louder and more clearly than ever before. I question it less and as a result things in my external world are better for it. I’m learning that when things chop and change as they often do, to not react with fear (and believe me it’s hard, old habits die hard) but instead to just wait. To instead listen, trust and have faith that something better is going to fill it.

But be warned once the volume of your intuition increases so does that of the ego. However something interesting happened this morning. It was nothing short of a miracle for me. As I was walking outside St Vincent’s hospital (where my ah ha moments often happen interestingly enough) I was listening to the broken record of my ego raising this point and that point, pleading and begging for me to agree and cooperate with it’s nagging, that I realised I no longer wanted to identify with the current ramblings. I could hear them, but they made no sense. There was no emotional charge when it spoke, there was no physical sensation either – this was new. On my face I smiled and in my mind I gently said, ‘you can keep talking, but I can no longer participate in this conversation. It no longer serves me’. And with that it dissipated. It literally dissipated. I could feel it.

I just watched a TED talk with Gabrielle Bernstein http://gabbyb.tv/featured/tedx-talk-on-inspiration and she speaks of the book A Course in Miracles. She says the ‘ego is suspicious at best and vicious at worst’. It is. And it’s exhausting. I had a kinesiology session during the week where I forgave and disconnected from a much younger version of myself that was crippled with guilt and fear.

Guilt. It’s such a horrid emotion. But the guilt only thrives because the fear based ego feels so satisfied by it. That’s why this morning was so special. I had, I feel, for the first time tamed my ego. Big stuff.

I’ve been sitting with and doing my best to practice forgiveness of late. Forgiveness of self. So that I can as Gabrielle says ‘recalibrate’. I just realised something as well. With each my clients this week a certain balance around resetting has come up. In EVERY session. When that happens there is something much bigger at play going on. What happened this morning, was a reset for me. I feel free. I believe it has been through the process of self forgiveness that has allowed me to go deeper. I experienced something totally new today.

I don’t have anything this week to invite you to do. I just wanted to share my moment. For if it’s starting to make sense to me, something might just be starting to make sense to you too.

If you’re curious about self forgiveness, cause believe me it’s baffled me for a while, get in touch. It’s so worth following through on.

With love, so much love x