Permission to have it all.

It sounds ridiculous that I should question why I love to travel, why my desire to be abroad is so strong. Why Europe tugs as my heart.

But, living with the tendency to over analyse everything this questioning has been at the forefront of my mind, often.

Is my desire escapism?

Shouldn’t I be settling down?

Am I allowed to still be living this way?

Shouldn’t I be spending this money on a mortgage?

Shouldn’t I be saving for my pension?

Am I sabotaging success by putting a somewhat temporary halt on things?

I was driving with an old friend the other night discussing just this.

I was lamenting at how much I wished I could call Europe home equally as much as I call Australia home. I’m conscious of the grass being greener. I’m conscious of the fact that Australia is a ridiculously wonderful country to live in. We are privileged to the max, on all fronts. And yet, something inside of me yearns for what Europe offers.

The friendships, the people, the culture, the history, the lifestyle. For those who share the same yearning it needs no explanation.

When I check in with why my soul feels so settled here, it’s partly because of the anonymity it offers, the spontaneity, randomness, openness I witnesses myself experiencing. Borders so close, cultural differences so vast, new worlds, old worlds. My senses are alert in a different way. I connect more easily. It’s their perspective, their heritage, their take on the world. It’s different.

I feel more heard here.

I feel more understood.

I feel more myself.

Is this a case of the grass being greener? Without a doubt.

But as my wise friend said, who cares if it is.

He too earns to call nowhere home, but to live and experience everywhere. And he makes it happen. It’s not just a pipe dream for him, it’s his reality.

And this is what I’ve realised, it’s about giving myself permission to want it.

At times I feel guilty for entertaining that life shouldn’t be the carbon copy which is offered to us. By no means is this a criticism of the carbon copy. I see it work for lots of people. Lots. In a way I wish it did work for me. But it doesn’t. I feel trapped at the thought. I feel suffocated. I feel my potential to access life is squandered.

My fear however is that I come across as the girl who still hasn’t grown up. The one still entertaining a fantasy, stuck on an illusion. Sabotaging prospects by not being totally present to where she is. Being foolish with her future.

But I need to be honest with myself. My soul wants more and it’s not letting up. I fear this sounds trite. Of course every soul wants more. But my yearning in this regard keeps getting louder.

Does this longing take me away from being present? At times, certainly. But it’s in the longing, the daydreaming, the fantasising that things are able to become manifest.

When we tune into both, being present to what we already have and indulging the spirit in a little bit of imagining we have a perfect little recipe I think.

The conversations my clients and I have are about accessing potential, about allowing ourselves to dream big and believe we have what it takes to get what we want. Alignment and therefore manifestation comes when we practice what we preach. I need to honour this. 

In Danielle La Porte’s recent post she invites us to remember,

‘I am devoted to dreaming about my ideal life’.

Devoted. I like the sound of this.

And so, I’m dropping the judgement of wanting more. Even if it is an illusion I’m chasing, it’s not such a bad one to chase.

What do I want? I want to live in Oz 6 months of the year, I want to be in Europe for 3 and I want the rest to explore as I choose, all while having a wonderfully successful business in which I inspire others to believe in their dreams too. Is this so horribly greedy? I think not.

What dream can you devote yourself to?

Where do you need to simply give yourself permission to do so?

What expectations of parents, society, from yourself do you need to let go of?

It’s worth contemplating, it could just be the thing standing between you and your desired reality.

Here’s to the dreaming x

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Clare Woodward is a Kinesiologist, transformational coach, writer, speaker and considers herself a true manifesting Queen. She is insanely curious and fascinated by the workings of the mind and spirit, and understanding how these influence our experiences, in our current reality. She loves the kookiness of all things energy and gets a kick out of synchronicities, soulful encounters and hugging trees. Follow her at Woodward Institute and find her on Facebook.

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Work with me – Book in for a Skype session, I’m available online while I’m abroad. Alternatively if you’re curious about Kinesiology and prefer to experience an in person session I’ll pass you the details of one of my gorgeous colleagues. There are so many of us willing to share the Kinesiology love. clare@woodwardinstitute.com.au / +61 408 359 922