Boundaries.

“A boundary is … Any limit I need to honour in order to work with love, or to work with you, without resentment & with integrity.”

I came across this quote at a conference earlier this year. I’ve been meaning to share it, as it resonated deeply.

In my line of work, in my life in general – boundaries are something I’ve had to learn, and exercise.

When you’re empathic, a people pleaser, a yes person… a habit of putting your own needs second can be created, without even realising it.

A fear is held of being… too much, a burden. Of being criticised or rejected.

Being human we want to be liked and loved, which means we’ll put another’s needs before our own in the hope of securing this love.

The problem with this… if it’s not respected or reciprocated the way we want … we end up resentful and feeling betrayed. It’s a double whammy – we’ve moved away from our own values and integrity and we’ve been let down too. It hurts.

“Any limit I need to honour”…

Your limit is something you need work out. No one can tell you what your limit is. Your limit will be in accordance with your values and what’s important for you. Not what’s expected of you, rather what’s important for YOU. It’s a highly personal thing…

Which can be tricky to work out when your ego is spewing up… ‘You’ll be rejected, you’ll be criticised, what are they going to think of you? etc…’

However, I’ve learnt over the years that my Spirit and my body are always guiding me to what’s in my highest good, letting me know when something feels ok and when it doesn’t. And the more I’ve learnt to listen to this –  there’s naturally less drama, less resentment and less mess.

If you know your boundaries are a little too malleable or your not quite sure how to listen to your Spirit and body, consider a session.

If I can help get in touch.

With love, Clare.