Being Single.

I said, ‘I’m excited to travel on my own for a bit, meet some new people, make some new friends.’

He replied, ‘New friends? You need more friends? I know people who say, Oh I’m going to stay with my friend in France. You say I’m going to stay with my friends in Europe. And you mean it. AND, look at what you’ve got here in Holland’.

Perspective.

I hate to admit this (like really hate it) but sometimes I get caught up in the loneliness of being single. Of feeling like I’m less, not quite complete, missing out because I don’t have ‘that person’ to accompany me through life.

And I hate admitting that I hate it because I also know it’s total bullshit. I know that having ‘that person’ also comes with its own challenges and I know that being single comes with a heap of advantages. But still, every now and then I get caught up in the insecurity of being single and I make statements like ‘I want to make some new friends’. When really what I should be saying is ‘I want to meet someone so I’m no longer having to deal with this feeling of inadequacy’.

So when my friend intuitively and politely responded with ‘STFU’ gratitude surged through me. Like magic, the veil lifted and I saw the blessings before me. I took stock of what I already have. I dropped the craving, of wanting more. I felt immediately filled up. I breathed easy.

………………………………….

I met a soul-mate 4 years ago. When we reunited the familiarity, the shared understandings of life, of each other, settled me and thrilled me.

I believe there is magic and sacredness when soul-mates find each other again.

I believe our souls know long before our earthly selves know, that they’re going to reunite. They are what guide our earthly selves to each other. They know that the shared learnings, laughs and tears will be revisited, experienced, solidifying the connection even more.

This soul-mate kindly introduced me to their own soul – mates. Of which there are a lot. It’s a group of friends bigger than I’ve known before and the depth of these friendships still leaves me a little in awe. From what I understand, these friendships stem from city pride, to village pride, but ultimately from foundations of group loyalty which are nothing short of family. There is a sense of camaraderie which feels similar only to what I believe war veterans to share.

They have your back with a genuineness that simply warms.

They extended this kindness to me, a stranger.

I have been welcomed with open arms, 3 kisses and open hearts. Their Dutch humour and Dutch kindness have left me feeling like I’ve been let in on something really special.

What does this have to do with being single?

It’s easy to get caught up in wishing things were different, in discounting that which has been divinely given to us. In thinking we have a better idea of how things ‘should’ be.

More or less screwing with the present moment.

And sometimes you need to say bullshit things to get perspective again and relish in all you have.

Conversations have been had with these new friends which have challenged, which have exposed, which have opened up and connected us. Truths and honesties, perspectives, learnings. And more than anything else, laughter. Lots of it.

Do I want new friends? Do I want a boyfriend? Of course. Why not! People, relationships, connections are how we learn. It’s how I learn.

But the craving has passed as I’ve realised what I already have. Which is more than enough.

And it feels cosy. So very very cosy.

 

 

Clare Woodward is a Kinesiologist, transformational coach, writer, speaker and considers herself a true manifesting Queen. She is insanely curious and fascinated by the workings of the mind and spirit, and understanding how these influence our experiences, in our current reality. She loves the kookiness of all things energy and gets a kick out of synchronicities, soulful encounters and hugging trees. Follow her at Woodward Institute and find her on Facebook.

If this post resonated, if it made you sit up and think, ‘hmmm, yep’ then make sure you subscribe for more positive perspectives and insights to be delivered straight to your inbox.

Work with me – Book in for a Skype session, I’m available online while I’m abroad. Alternatively if you’re curious about Kinesiology and prefer to experience an in person session I’ll pass you the details of one of my gorgeous colleagues. There are so many of us willing to share the Kinesiology love. clare@woodwardinstitute.com.au / +61 408 359 922