Why doubt is the key to living.

One of the best things about working with clients is that their issues are my issues. Working so intimately with their fears and insecurities allows me to understand my own even more. The heartfelt waffle that escapes my mouth is always the message I need to be telling myself. So when a theme starts to emerge I pay attention, and the theme of this past week – Doubt and Guarantees.

Needing to know. Assurances. Tell me I’m going to be ok. It’s going to all work out, right? Security. Safety. Control.

It’s not surprising that even in our adult years we still so desperately want to know we are safe and that everything is going to work out just fine. As far as the mind is concerned it has filed and archived a plethora of experiences from day dot to reinforce that our survival is compromised. Without this story being corrected we attract and live existences that reinforce this ingrained belief. This is why the feeling of safety and security we receive from knowing what to expect is so strongly desired. It simply leaves us feeling at peace.

But the thing is, and please bear with me for a second for this is going to sound painfully obvious – there are no guarantees in life. Wouldn’t you agree? There really isn’t and to be honest it takes the fun out of it when we so desperately want to know the end result all the time. We miss out on the synchronicities, the signs, the magic. Instead of being present and acknowledging that everything is perfect in this moment we instead try to dictate what we think will be a better story. And we all know that when we release the need to control, that is get out of our own way, life always presents us with something better than we could have ever daydreamed.

So if we’re not feeling secure and assured then what are we feeling? Doubt, insecurity and anxiety. That’s what. But could doubt in fact be a good thing?

In the movie Life of Pi, Adult Pi says ‘Faith is a house with many rooms’. The Writer then asks, ‘But no room for doubt? Adult Pi replies, ‘Oh plenty, on every floor. Doubt is useful, it keeps faith a living thing. After all, you cannot know the strength of your faith until it is tested’.

This statement literally made me weep, the impact of it truly overwhelmed me. In the moment I heard it, I thought, ‘Oh my god – of course!’.

You know those moments where you realise something you were totally secure about all of sudden doesn’t look so secure, and that sinking feeling rises up from the pit of your stomach and heats up all your insides and rushes to your face to escape. You instantly go from feeling assured and in flow with life to paralysed and full of doubt. It’s a shitty feeling.

When I doubt I feel like I’m either off track or missing the lesson and in effect offending the universe – like I’m going to be punished because of it (oh the joys of having been raised a Catholic). But that’s the thing, it is through doubt that we are either forced to give up hope OR use it to strengthen our faith.

In the book Life of Pi, Pi says, “If Christ spent an anguished night in prayer, if He burst out from the Cross, ‘My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?’. Then surely we are also permitted doubt. But we must move on. To choose doubt as a philosophy of life is akin to choosing immobility as a means of transportation.”

I love this quote, because it reinforces that it’s ok to doubt BUT you have to continue regardless of it, you can’t let it take hold of you, for if you do it really does result in complete stagnation. Feel the doubt, continue to show up, get out of the way and allow life to surprise you, allow the synchcronicities to manifest, allow for the universe to show you it’s magic.

When doubt infiltrates, I turn to my faith which allows me to connect even deeper with my reason for being here – to experience life. According to a Course in Miracles faith is ‘the acknowledgment of union’. For me this served as a reminder that we are simply not alone. When we doubt it feels like we are, when we turn to our faith we feel connected and with purpose.

How do I move away from doubt and instead towards faith? I do it by firstly acknowledging the doubt and then reminding myself of ALLLLL the times it has worked out. Cause it always has. And then I give thanks. I direct my attention away from scarcity and instead to abundance and show gratitude for all I already have, because really, in this present moment it really is more than enough.

Doubt is not a weakness it is a necessity. It does not mean you’re off track or that you’ve been abandoned. It means that you’re living and experiencing and therefore learning and growing. In effect it’s what you do with the doubt that is of importance. It reminds me that we have choice. We can either fall victim to it, or instead take charge and use it and celebrate that we don’t know what’s coming next – because we don’t need to!

If you’re sitting with doubt, use it as an opportunity to strengthen your faith and connect with life. Welcome, embrace and celebrate the not knowing and the doubt that comes with it. When you change your experience of doubt from fear to excitement your world and the way you live it changes.

Happy doubting!