Nostalgic Musings from 2012

The past year has without a doubt been my favourite so far. Part of me thinks I must be crazy to say this for it’s been, without a doubt, the most solitary and introspective year to date. It’s been tough more often than it’s not been tough. But funnily enough the not tough times have seemed more – authentic and magical in a way, like a proper gift. And the tough times have allowed me another sort of gift. They have forced me to really get to know myself, just when I thought I knew enough!

This self I speak of is the vulnerable child like self. The side that doesn’t get shown to many people. But funnily enough she’s the one I spend most of my time with, so why not let her socialise with everyone? At the beginning of this year I set the intention of being willing and of being willing to show up. To stop with the ‘talk’ and to instead focus on the ‘action’. To hear the call and have the courage to do something about it. You have to be careful what you wish for. But as I remind so many of my clients, you are only ever dished out as much as you can handle. I stand tall and proud in this statement, as I know so many of you do also. My heart connects with yours. We’ve been in it together.

‘In the depth of winter I finally learned that there was in me an invincible summer’.

– Albert Camus.

I have learnt to surrender this year and as a result, life got better. It did. It was less forced, it was more playful, it was connected and it was insightful. As Gabby Bernstein says ‘you’ve got to get our of your own way’. It’s true. You’ve gotta scoot on over so life can do it’s thing without you interfering. It’s a lesson I’m still learning to master.

So as 2012 rolls to a close and we welcome 2013 with open hearts, spirits and souls I give thanks.

I give thanks for:

My parents. They’re still getting their head around what I do for a living and yet not once have they discouraged me from doing it (despite the sleepless nights I know my mother has had). As my Mum has often reminded me, ‘we’re from a different generation’ and yet they’ve still been there every step of the way with unwavering support. I come from good stock and I’m so very proud to say so.

My friends. While I retreated inwards this year and orbits and energies shifted between friendships I learnt to trust and flow and appreciate those who are reflections of me in a much deeper way. We don’t do life alone and even when one is being forced into introspection the support we receive from the outside means so much more when you are being solitary.

My living. Coaching, Kinesiology. My Clients, my Students. They have inspired me and amazed me and have allowed me to fall in love more and more each day with not only what I get to do but with the Universe around me. The lessons, the reminders, the magic. Honestly – the magic. I’m grateful to have the opportunity to support others in uncovering and discovering their own magic powers. For we all have them. We do. You just have to be willing to show up to them.

My blog. It took great courage to put fingers to keypad back in August. I was shy about doing it. I felt exposed and vulnerable. I felt like the 11 year old in the playground. Anxious about acceptance and for being caught out. For what? I’m not sure. For not being perfect perhaps? For being awkward and insecure. For admitting to making mistakes. I love being able to write though and I love hearing that it falls on grateful ears/ eyes. A beautiful client of mine asked the other day if I keep a journal. I said I had stopped and realised in that moment that this blog is my journal.

My health. I am beyond grateful that it is through our health, our bodies, our energy systems that we are spoken to. If we listen to this, it has all the answers. I do as good a job as anyone of ignoring it at times, but im getting better. This is definitely a continued intention for 2013. For life no doubt.

And for all the other things…. the roof over my head, the money in my bank account, the random encounters on trains, planes and streets with souls that swan in and swan out, for the grey skies (they have provided me endless moments of comfort this year), for the sunshine of course, for being able to go to the beach between seeing clients, for synchronicity, for listening to and HEARING my intuition, for the trees, oh the trees, for meditation, for green smoothies (I know it’s clichéd, but they are damn good), for the gold rings from past centuries, for my laptop and iphone, for my studies and mentors, for foreign friends new and old and for music, especially foreign music, and for being willing. For being willing and most importantly for having the courage to be have been willing to show up.

Merci beaucoup c’est très gentil.