Feeling lost?
I’ve been reading Reveal – A Sacred Manual for Getting Spiritually Naked. I had started it way back – see my previous post on Kairos time and Chronos time – and then put it down, unable to pick it back up.
Then, like always, eyes dart across a bookshelf and that voice inside says ‘it’s time’.
This book is essentially (as it reads on the back cover) a manual for revealing your soul.
Towards the end of the book Meggan Watterson talks of neti neti, sanskrit for ‘not this, not that’. She goes on to say ‘I had to go through a lot of neti neti before I found the work that revealed my soul – the desire to share what was within me demanded it.’
Soul work can be full on. It sees us doing loads of things that often don’t feel quite right (neti neti), in an attempt to get us closer and closer to what does feel right. The risk with the not quite right though, is it often leaves us feeling totally disillusioned, to the point we want to chuck the whole thing in.
And as she says it demands the desire to share. Demands. But when we’re not in the mood to be told what to do, our inner something (ego) can start to cause havoc. And when it does, we get off track. Things get static-y and uncomfortable. There’s a knowingness that we’re in denial, but god love us, we do our best to drown out the knowingness.
And this is where Watterson says ‘fiercely love the ego into submission to allow the soul its sovereignty’.
I often say in clinic that this life of ours is ego management. It’s about reigning it in, loving it as it needs, but ultimately, keeping it in its place. This is where kinesiology sessions are so beneficial. They shed light on its dominance.
There’s something potent about the year ahead, more so than other years. It feels like a foundation has been set in those gone past. A foundation of knowing what it is we have to do, from daily rituals to vocation stuff.
And I say none of this to overwhelm.
When we dig deep we know what we have to do (bear with me here*), it’s just a matter of doing it.
But it’s the doing it, that often sees us paralysed. We end up asking ourselves questions like ‘what’s if it’s not the right thing?’, ‘what if I fail? ’, ‘what if it’s all too hard?’.
Why hello ego.
Now while these are all valid questions, they’re also complete rubbish.
Watterson goes on to say ‘any door would lead me to the right door. I couldn’t miss it. I couldn’t lose out on what I’m here to do any more than I could lose my own nose. I just needed to make a choice, not hover. No matter what I did, I needed to choose to not be lost and to know that wherever I landed with my two feet and abnormally large heart, it was going to lead me to where I needed to be. As long as I was fully present and fully me, I would find my way.’
Fully present and fully me, I would find my way.
Know this,
There is a force gently pulling us forward. We need to let it.
There is a force inside us, talking to us, always. We need to listen to it.
There is a force underneath us, above us, on either sides of us, protecting us. We have to trust it.
Before writing this post I pulled a card from one of the many decks I have on hand, it was the Sanctuary card. It said ‘Retreat, reflect on your heart’s desires, and access your divine guidance’.
Divine Guidance. But how?
It’s different for all of us.
For me, it’s in the retreat, it’s in the being fully present and fully me. It’s in the time alone. It is in the journalling, the meditating, the conscious connection with mother nature. It’s in drives around town, road trips. And it’s in the kinesiology sessions. They help me. Immensely. And I start reading spiro books again.
My point to all this. Sometimes you need to get so off track before you realise just how far away from your soul’s sovereignty you are. You need to feel like shit. You need to look at your life and think, ‘fuck this is in disarray’, before you pull your finger out and say ‘ok soul, what is it I need know?’.
And remember ‘the soul constantly draws to itself what it needs in order to learn and grow’. (Courtesy of a deck of cards in a cafe).
If you’re in a bit of fuzz. It’s ok. You are where you need to be. Don’t play victim to this though. Recognise it and ask yourself – ‘what does my soul need me to do today?’ (Just start with today). It could be something as simple as heading to a garden, basking in the glory of mother nature. It could be hitting the yoga mat. It could be meditating, for just 5 mins or 20. Quality is what’s of importance here. Head to cafe and soak up the vibes of life, on your own. It could be quitting your job, knowing you need to be out in the world doing something else.
Ask and then do.
It’s in the doing.
All my love x
* We know what we have to do – if you’ve read this and thought, ‘but that’s the exact problem, I don’t know what it is I have to do!’, come in for a session. Let’s get clear. Bounce some things around. Get that well meaning, limiting ego outta the way for a bit and see what comes through. This is soul work – come in and listen to it. Hit reply.
