Living the Dream Interview Series – Meet Shelly. She’s a movie director in LA.
And the day came when the risk to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.
~ Anais Nin
When I lived in France on the Riviera it was often said ‘We’re living the dream people’.
Which in all honesty we were. Days were spent working alongside friends who became family, lounging at the beach – before work, after work, on days off, meeting folk from all over the world, drinking cheap booze together. In your mid 20’s this is living the dream. To be fair, in my 30’s this is still living the dream. Although the cheap booze isn’t ideal any more.
This idea of ‘Living the Dream’ is the driving force behind why we get up in the morning – and stay up. Or at least it should be. The reality of living your heart’s desire is intoxicating. I believe each one of us is here to live the exact opposite of mediocre. To be inspired daily to live our dreams, to access our truth + potential, to be connected to our purpose – this is why we get up and stay up.
To inspire you to live your own version of ‘Living the Dream’ I’m going to be interviewing a bunch of my clients doing just this. My clients (who I have the honour and privilege of working with) commit to their potential, to living consciously, responsibly and spiritually.
Which is where Kinesiology comes in. This uber powerful therapy helps you get clear on your desires + passions and importantly kicks your subconscious blocks in the butt, forcing you to face your fears and annihilate your anxieties.
But enough with the alliteration – Kinesiology works and it’s part of the reason these amazing people are living their dream.
So without further adieu…
Shelly Lauman :: Film Director. Film Producer. Visionary. Creative. Actor. Student :: 33 years old :: Lives Los Angeles, California :: Studies @ AFI American Film Institute
You’re living the dream. What does this look like for you? (Describe what you do for a crust). And how long have you been doing it for?
Well my crust was acting. Working as a stage actor and also part time in a bookshop in Sydney. In 2012, I decided to change career paths, go back to uni. My crust since being accepted into and attending the American Film Institute has been crowd funding, scholarships and personal loans. School ends in 6 months, so who knows after that…
I have been acting for 10 years. I directed TWO DUCKS in 2008/09 and then nothing until starting at AFI. I am working on my thesis project, which is my 5th short film now.
Were you scared to take the leap of faith? How did it happen? Can you describe the feeling you experienced? Your mental state of being? Emotions?
Yes I was scared. I am scared right now 🙂
The leap of faith I took was to leave my building acting career and enroll at AFI. AFI is extremely expensive. I had to raise $160,000, so it seemed like a virtually impossible task. I am not from a rich family, I have never had savings etc.
Once I was accepted, I just kept asking.
THE WHOLE TIME I FELT INSANE! I still do sometimes.
Scared, panicked, angry, frustrated, devastated. Panicked is probably the big one. Belly flipping over, judging every email I sent to every person I asked money for – was that too forward, was that too rude, was that too nice?
Fuck it’s making me tired right now.
I have more grey hair than when I started and I cold sweat alot.
HAHAHA.
What do you believe made you follow through? What was it that made you move towards your calling?
It was scarier not to try.
First year was one hurdle. And then continuing into second year was another. First year I raised all the money. This year, I am in debt. But money felt like a poor reason to not keep moving forward.
Something in me believes that if I keep asking, I will keep receiving. If I keep learning, I will keep getting better, stronger…
My choices seem like hard choices, not comfortable, confronting and at times absolutely insane, but then so does the alternative.
Acting was hard – it was a passion and a love I have had my whole life but it was also a glove that didn’t quite fit. Directing fits. I love it. I am humbled by it. I have such a long way to go.
How has Kinesiology + Coaching supported you through this process? How long have you been doing Kinesiology? Why do you keep returning to it?
I wouldn’t be here without it.
I describe it as tealights, lighting the way. It keeps the next step close and humble and small. Just the right amount I can handle. Just keep doing the next thing it seems to say.
I have been doing it for 2 years now. I went in with the request that I attend AFI and graduate, supported by scholarships, donations and loans. This is exactly what has manifested.
I keep returning to it because I trust it. Even via skype. It out-smarts me for want of a better word. It is not a rational process but it is completely logical. Each body response leads me to a new place of understanding – and every time it makes sense on some vertical plane that cannot be described or defined with the mind. It is a sense, a feeling, a response. An honest, honest response.
We all get off track at times. Fears creep back in. Resistance gets a hold of us. Inspiration doesn’t strike. What do you do to stay on track? What gets you back to centre? Is it people? Things? Philosophies? Yoga?
Lately I have been reading a lot of self help books – hahaha I hate that phrase!
Meditation is proving to be a critical daily practice. I am noticing the authenticity it brings up. The awareness it brings forward.
I need to do more with my body – yoga. I keep meaning to go but… yeah resistance is well and truly there on that one.
Who do you talk to? God/ Universe/ Angels/ Saints/ Trees/ All of the above? Can you describe your relationship with your spirituality? How does this contribute to you living the dream?
Well the talking is new for me. First I came to terms with the listening. Now it’s the talking back and asking awareness that is setting in.
I call her HER. She. I think about Joan of Arc alot. Goddesses. Like friends floating around me. Sometimes it’s my grandparents. Sometimes it’s actually the bearded cloak man in the clouds – whom I have never believed in by the way. But it’s just another image to me now.
Mostly – it’s HER. She is looking out for me.
What’s one or two hard truths about taking the risk to blossom. What do people need to be aware of?
You have to change. You have to let go of what you think you want and know about yourself and change. The holding onto, the clinging, the wanting – it is so fucking painful – because it’s not real… does that make sense.
I am so far from mastering this. But the letting go and allowing is the thing. Sometimes it’s easy and then I get all cocky. But then other times, it seems near impossible.
What soulful advice do you have for those reading this, who too desire to live a life of purpose + passion?
In the book THE WAR OF ART by Steven Pressfield the author, ends by saying, ‘don’t deny the world the opportunity of you’.
It’s our obligation. We are expressions of creativity. Expressions of something so much bigger than our little bodied selves. It’s our job to live on purpose. It’s what will make the world a peaceful place.
Everyone’s dream is different. Have an insatiable curiosity about yours. It’s time to blossom.
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