And the day came when the risk to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom. 

~ Anais Nin

When I lived in France on the Riviera it was often said ‘We’re living the dream people’.

Which in all honesty we were. Days were spent working alongside friends who became family, lounging at the beach – before work, after work, on days off, meeting folk from all over the world, drinking cheap booze together. In your mid 20’s this is living the dream. To be fair, in my 30’s this is still living the dream. Although the cheap booze isn’t ideal any more.

This idea of ‘Living the Dream’ is the driving force behind why we get up in the morning – and stay up. Or at least it should be. The reality of living your heart’s desire is intoxicating. I believe each one of us is here to live the exact opposite of mediocre. To be inspired daily to live our dreams, to access our truth + potential, to be connected to our purpose – this is why we get up and stay up.

To inspire you to live your own version of ‘Living the Dream’ I’m going to be interviewing a bunch of my clients doing just this. My clients (who I have the honour and privilege of working with) commit to their potential, to living consciously, responsibly and spiritually. 

Which is where Kinesiology comes in. This uber powerful therapy helps you get clear on your desires + passions and importantly kicks your subconscious blocks in the butt, forcing you to face your fears and annihilate your anxieties. 

But enough with the alliteration – Kinesiology works and it’s part of the reason these amazing people are living their dream.

So without further adieu… Meet Ruby.

Ruby Lohman :: Freelance Writer. Food Obsessive. Idea Generator:: 31 yrs :: Sydney, Melbourne, anywhere, everywhere. 

You’re living the dream. What does this look like for you? (Describe what you do for a crust). And how long have you been doing it for? 

Clare gave me the opportunity to re-read this a few months after I wrote it, and make any updates. My life seems to move rather quickly. Since writing this stuff (below), Clare and I have founded Death Dinner Party, and I feel like a huge piece of my puzzle has slotted into place. It seems weird that part of my ‘purpose’ is running dinner party events where people talk about death, but there you go. I’m not going to mess with what I wrote those few months ago, because it’s all still current. I just felt it needed to be added to – because I’ve taken a huge step recently towards ‘living the dream’. And that’s what this is all about, right? 

I’m a freelance writer. Or at least, that’s one part of what I do. The thing about “living the dream” is that my dream constantly changes. I’m not quite living my ultimate dream, but I’m living a decent version of it. I’ve got a few ideas I’m working on this year (all related to food) that will get me closer. Right now I do food writing (restaurant reviewing and writing features), some corporate/marketing writing and some more creative writing (fiction and other bits and pieces) when I have the time/inspiration/motivation. Plus some editing here and there. I went freelance in April 2014; before that I worked for three years in a corporate writing agency. 

Were you scared to take the leap of faith? How did it happen? Can you describe the feeling you experienced? Your mental state of being? Emotions?

Erm, yes. I was terrified. My leap was leaving my full-time job to go freelance, and to start writing more of the stuff I really wanted to. I was scared of not making enough money, of not getting enough work, of having no self-discipline and being too lazy (because I’d only have myself to answer to – no boss), of failing in front of people, of taking the leap and then realising it wasn’t what I wanted…etc. etc.! But I’d got to the point where I didn’t feel like I was living MY life. I didn’t feel like ME. So the alternative to taking the leap of faith was staying where I was, or just moving sideways. And that idea depressed the hell out of me.   

I went through a fair bit of stress and panic in making the decision to go freelance. And of course I was buried in thoughts like “Why should I succeed at this when plenty of people don’t?” “I have no idea what I’m doing and someone’s going to notice at any moment.” 

I knew it would help to have some support to make the jump (beyond my friends and family), so that’s when I looked into kinesiology and found Clare (more on that below!). 

I really believe there’s no point living unless you’re either doing things you’re passionate and excited about, or doing things to move towards that. Everyone’s different of course, but for me, the thought of living a mediocre life in which I haven’t at least tried to do amazing, exciting, creative things depresses the fuck out of me. 

I’ve done lots of things in my life that I was really scared to do, but really wanted to do. I don’t tend to take the easy option. For me, it’s about making plans, locking it in somehow to make it concrete – and then I have to do it, no matter how terrified I am. So with leaving my job, I set a date to quit. I told a few people, so I would feel accountable. And I worked with my lovely friend Paula Scott, who’s a designer, to create a logo. By putting it all in motion, all I had to do was hang on. Then I put some stuff in place that would help me hang on. Unexpectedly, kinesiology was at the centre of that.  

How has Kinesiology + Coaching supported you through this process? How long have you been doing Kinesiology? Why do you keep returning to it? 

I started kinesiology in early 2014. I’m generally a pretty cynical person, so I didn’t have huge expectations. But wow. I’m not sure I’d be doing what I’m doing (or I’d at least be doing a worse job of it) if it wasn’t for kinesiology. And Clare. (Clare, you’re not allowed to edit this bit out!) Honestly, there’s Kinesiology and then there’s Clare. I will always, always be grateful she appeared in my life. 

Kinesiology helped me understand the fears I felt, and that allowed me to be okay with some fears – to just let them sit there while I got on with shit – and it helped me get rid of some fears. It helped me realise what drives me, what makes me happy and what kind of life I want (though that one I’m still figuring out). It was this hugely grounding force that kind of kept me on the right path. 

I keep returning to Kinesiology because it centres me, makes me feel happier and more peaceful, and gives me clarity. I think I’m a bit addicted to change, so often I feel like I’m facing 20 different decisions and I’m not actually sure what I want. Kinesiology helps me figure it out. It helps with my anxiety and my relationships. It also helps me deal with childhood shit that inevitably pops up from time to time, and to let it go – but gently and with grace. And it makes me feel at peace with who I am and the decisions I make. 

We all get off track at times. Fears creep back in. Resistance gets a hold of us. Inspiration doesn’t strike. What do you do to stay on track? What gets you back to centre? Is it people? Things? Philosophies? Yoga? 

Honestly, kinesiology. A session is the best way to get me back to centre. Being super healthy – eating well, doing yoga and walking lots – helps me stay on track, and when I feel like I’m losing it, it’s often because I’ve been drinking too much booze and not moving enough. I have a weird relationship with meditation – it’s such an important part of my life, but I STILL struggle to get into a daily practice. The ocean, trees, cooking for friends, talking to my mum, reading or watching something uplifting, doing something for someone else (gets me out of my head), and spending time with people who are motivated, positive, non-judgmental, and doing things differently from everyone else.  

Who do you talk to? God/ Universe/ Angels/ Saints/ Trees/ All of the above? Can you describe your relationship with your spirituality? How does this contribute to you living the dream? 

I suppose I talk to the Universe. For me it’s kind of like my ‘higher self’ (whatever the hell that is) and some higher presence. I don’t believe in a God or in guardian angels. But I do believe in energy and that we receive what we ask for or what we need. I’ve given up thinking I know what’s best for myself, because I’ve learnt over and over again that I actually have no idea. The Universe has it covered. I try to maintain a sense of connection to the Universe through kinesiology, yoga, meditation and just taking time to be still. When I feel like I’m in the ‘flow’ of the Universe, I know I’m always where I’m supposed to be and the Universe has my back. Stopping, listening, letting go, not resisting, feeling fluid, relinquishing control…that’s how I get back into the ‘flow’. I also talk to myself a lot. But that’s maybe a different issue…

What’s one or two hard truths about taking the risk to blossom. What do people need to be aware of? 

Sometimes your dream or your path doesn’t align with what society makes you feel like you’re meant to want, or what people around you seem to be doing. That’s kind of scary and makes you question yourself a lot. It also means that not everyone will agree with all your choices. 

But the hardest thing about taking the risk is just that – you’re taking a risk. Which means things might not turn out the way you think they should. And that’s not necessarily a bad thing. 

What soulful advice do you have for those reading this, who too desire to live a life of purpose + passion?

People who have clear dreams and passions are often already doing them or moving towards them. But lots of people don’t know what they want to do – they just have a sense that there’s something bigger and better for them. I think figuring that out should be your priority – but it does take effort and courage and patience and curiosity and trust. 

For me, I spent time figuring out the kind of life I want to live and what’s most important. Then I make a lot of decisions based on that. i.e. flexibility, freedom, travel and financial security are vital to me. Being a freelancer delivers a lot of that (even if I am still working on the financial security!). 

Ultimately though, you need to DO. Stop talking and planning and thinking and just DO. Being scared to do something doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do it. It just means you’ll be scared for a little while. 

These sorts of interviews are funny, because it makes it sound like I’ve got all this shit sorted. I so don’t. There are plenty of times when I feel unhappy, or full of self-doubt, or lonely, or less successful than the people I compare myself to, or panicked that I’ve made wrong decisions. Or completely unsure of what to do next. So I think it’s also about accepting all of that, and not expecting a life of constant happiness and fulfilment and yeah woo all the time. But if you’re doing what you can to live the life you’re meant to be living, there’s this underlying sense of peace behind it all. 

***

Connect with Ruby Lohman via ruby.lohman@gmail.com and on Instagram @rubylohman and @deathdinnerparty

For more info on Death Dinner Party make sure to like our Facebook page and check out our Website 

Everyone’s dream is different. Have an insatiable curiosity about yours.
It’s time to blossom.

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