Can you do this?

I caught up with one of my beautiful girlfriends recently who has just had her second kid. She’s great. She gets kids. She understands them, they understand her. It’s a beautiful thing to witness. And she said that the way she chooses to parent is to focus on their good behaviour. Rather than reprimanding them for not doing the ‘right’ thing, she instead takes their attention to how she wants them to be behaving. She drops the ‘don’t do that’ and replaces it with, ‘how about we do this instead?’…

This conversation came just after I read one of Danielle LaPorte’s posts: One of the most helpful things you can do for your friends: Be a witness to what’s working. She explains that ‘one of the most helpful things you can do for your friends is spot their joy’. She continues to say that ‘to have my joy reflected back to me, to be seen in that way — it’s a powerful affirmation of being on track’. It’s about saying ‘you light up when you talk about that..’, you’re on fire when…’, ‘you glow when you describe that…’.

And so these two reminders got me thinking. Mainly because I had just done a corporate presentation and felt like I did a less than best job despite positive feedback. My ego, my stories, my pattern was to go straight into self criticism…

But then I decided to turn this around. I decided to talk to myself to like I would to my own friends. Reassuringly, compassionately, supportively.

It’s time to stop focussing on what doesn’t work. Like my girlfriend does, drop the ‘don’t do that’.

Instead focus and place your attention on what is working and what you would like to experience more of.

Cause when we do, it feels nice.

Have a read of Danielle’s post here. Check out what she suggests. And then do it. Call up your friend and tell em what fab things you notice about them. When you’re in the moment with someone bring their attention to what lights them up.

It’s a beautiful thing to do.

 

 

Clare Woodward is a Kinesiologist, transformational coach, writer, speaker and considers herself a true manifesting Queen. She is insanely curious and fascinated by the workings of the mind and spirit, and understanding how these influence our experiences, in our current reality. She loves the kookiness of all things energy and gets a kick out of synchronicities, soulful encounters and hugging trees. Follow her at Woodward Institute and find her on Facebook.