7 simple steps to loving YOU.

7 simple steps to loving YOU.

1. It’s time to be nice to yourself.

For anyone who has been on ‘the journey’ for a while you would have come across the statement, ‘Treat yourself as you would your best friend’. The power in this statement! I want you to have a think about how you treat your friends. I bet it’s with respect, support + love. Even when they’re driving you a little nuts you still dig deep and offer them love and compassion. You do this because that’s what friends do. They’re nice to each other.

Can you imagine a life where you treat yourself exactly the same? It would mean, kind words, supportive thoughts, reassuring conversations, positive reinforcement, humour, lightness. 

We all know what happens to friendships that start to become negative. They’re awful. They usually fall away. The tricky thing with falling out of friendship with yourself – you’re can’t ignore or get away from yourself!

So, It’s time to be nice!

How? Well, when you’re not being nice to yourself i.e. negative thoughts, behaviours, gossiping, thinking up awful scenarios in your head – check in, stop, ask yourself what would I do if it was my best friend was doing this to themselves? What support would I offer? What advice would I give?

Pay attention to the answer – and then do this!

2. Give yourself time.

Give yourself time to move into self love. It can take time to stop slipping and sliding between where you’re at and where you want to be. The thing that gets us no where  is judging ourselves for it!

A quote I love from Conversations with God is ‘We have to experience what we don’t want in order to know what we do want’. I adore this because it gives us permission and perspective on where we’re currently at and why.

Everything in life is experience. Everything we do, attract and manifest is so we can experience ourselves and understand ourselves. Ah! There is so much beauty and power in this statement. To experience and understand ourselves is such a gift.

Once you understand this you can stop judging where it is you think you should be. (Make sure you keep reading for Step #7)

3. Learn to be ok with saying NO

This is a BIG one. Do you respect yourself by saying no when you really need to say no? Or do you say yes because you feel obliged to say yes? Because you’re concerned you’ll lose their approval if you say no. Because you’re worried you won’t be able to control a situation if you’re not there. Because you care more about what someone else’s opinion than your own?

It’s really hard to put ourselves first, but when we learn to be ok doing this, all of a sudden you create space for more YOU time. (And not because you’ll have no friends due to saying no!). From this space comes the ability to listen to your own needs.

It is not selfish to say no or to put yourself before others. It’s crazy that we’ve somehow ended up thinking it is!

Think about this – if the plane is going down does the mother help her child or herself first? She helps herself. There is a reason for this. To be your best in the world you need to give yourself permission to put yourself first.

It’s not selfish. It’s not.

4. Surround yourself with people who raise you.

This can be one of the hardest things to do. It’s scary breaking free from ‘the group’, from those you grew up with, those you once upon a time spent all those fun summers with. But at the end of the day some friendships are just for the time being.

My aunt once said to me ‘friends are like ships in the night, they sail in and they sail out’. I remember thinking it was the most depressing thought – ever. I also remember thinking I’ll be friends with my friends forever. While this is true for some of my friendships (for the time being) it certainly hasn’t been true for all of them.

This isn’t to say you’re better than them or that there is anything wrong with you for not wanting to be their friend. Life happens. You happen. They happen. Life is constantly changing. The more you can be ok with these changes the less resistant you will be. Which means the less pain.

Have the courage to recognise when certain friendships are draining your energy. Have the courage to break away, creating space for new friendships, allowing new vibrations that serve you to come in.

5. Eat to nourish yourself.

Ah, this is such a big one!!! Since I’ve started studying and practicing Kinesiology I’ve come to respect the power of the biochemicals in our body. What we consume either raises or depletes our energy.

When I eat well my mind works better, my emotions are happier, I’m able to cope better when things look a little glum. It sounds obvious and you’ve heard it all before.

Before I consume foods I ask myself is this going to nourish my body? Is my body going to appreciate this as fuel? It’s usually a good guiding system for saying yes and no to foods.

If you feel like you have no energy, are in a rut, unable to shift whatever you’re needing to shift – then take an inventory of what you’re putting into that temple of yours.

This means moving that temple too. Even if it’s just a walk. A stretch. Move it. Honour it. That body of yours is YOURS, no one elses. Respect it.

6. Be grateful.

It doesn’t matter if it’s spirituality or religion – every one of them says the same thing: Be grateful. They all say it because it’s the foundation to true happiness.

There is so much to be grateful for. So much. Everywhere and everything offers something to be grateful for. Even the shitty situation you might be in. Dig deep and be grateful. The world around you will change as a result.

The brain can only focus on one thing at a time. If you focus on the positive, guess what? The negative is out of awareness. And remember, what we focus on we get more of. It’s pretty simple if you ask me – find what it is to be grateful for. Constantly.

7. Accept where you are at.

Ahhhh, the bliss that comes from understanding and living this truth. There is a true ease and grace that exists when you stop longing for things to be different, when you stop being attached to the outcome.

By being ok with where you’re at right NOW means you’re honouring the divinity of the moment. You’re being present. You’re participating in life, just as it is.

Whenever we wish something was different we are more or less rejecting our present moment. We are saying to the Universe ‘Oi, I don’t approve, make it better’. Unfortunately this is not a language the Universe understands.

Actively move into a space of being ok with where you are at.

How? You surrender. You make a choice to be present. You recognise the NOW for being perfect just as it is. It takes time and it takes awareness. But it does happen. I invite you to give it a go.

If your soul started to stir when you read this make sure you check out the Self Love & Nourishment e-course I’ve co-created.

Lots of juicy self lovin’ stuff in it!

P.S If you’re somewhat curious about how Coaching + Kinesiology can help you transform your life drop me a line clare@woodwardinstitute.com.au. Life transformation is something I’m most passionate about!

Clare Woodward is a Transformational Coach + Kinesiologist with a busy practice in Surry Hills and Crows Nest. Using a combination of powerful techniques, Clare assists her clients to access their immense potential, empowering them to lead authentic, responsible and fulfilling lives.